Or:-
Some Passengers Do Stand Out In The Crowd.
Now and then some one gets on a bus who has never been on a bus before, or as Basil Fawlty once said, "Never sat on a chair before." This passenger got on and demanded to know, "How much. For two adults and one child." I pointed out that there were in fact three adults and one child which he admitted could possibly be the case. He then repeated his demand, "How much?" I asked where he was going. He wanted to know why. I explained that 'how much' depended on 'where to'. He thought that was silly and told me so. I suggested he humour me and tell me where he was going. Paignton, if it's all that important was his answer. Single or return. He must have only heard the single bit because he said with a certain irritability that there were 3 adults and a child. He wasn't single. Yes I know, but do you want single tickets or return tickets. What's the difference? he wanted to know. Well by this time there were about 25 people behind him waiting to get on the bus but I explained the difference. If you are coming back today, return tickets are cheaper. Oh right, long pause. Single. So breathing a sigh of relief I pressed the right buttons and 18 inches of paper emerged from the ticket machine with 3 adult and one child single tickets from Brixham to Paignton neatly printed there on. £9.20 please said I, the light glowed brightly at the end of the tunnel. Foolish me. That's expensive said wife, his not mine. True thought I but blame Tony Blair not me. Wife continued, What would return tickets cost? £14.95. We'll have returns. So I annulled the single tickets and issued the return tickets and took the money. Almost all over but not quite. Now it is very simple to remove the ticket from the machine, you take hold and gently pull. Little old ladies who have had a telegram from the Queen can do it. Two year old toddlers can lick ice creams and do it. People with 3 shopping bags in one hand and the lead of a mad pitbull terrier in the other can do it. Not this one. He took hold of the ticket about a foot away from the machine and snatched in the same way a drowning man goes for the straw. So the ticket tore in his hand leaving 3 /4 of the ticket, two adults and one child ticket still in the machine. A second go and he now has one adult ticket and half an adult ticket in his hand. I did try and remove the rest before too much damage was done but he was too quick and the rest of his ticket was finally removed from the machine in 3 more pieces. He was not impressed by our ticket machines and I was so far gone you could have extracted all my teeth with a pair of pliers and I wouldn't have felt any thing.
The rest of the day went really well, considering.
6 comments:
Sounds familiar.
I love to see people start pulling my sacred ticket roll out of the machine, without managing to pull it with enough force to actually cut it.
I probably loose about 30ft of roll every day like this - resulting in me running very low and far from a paper source.
Just this evening, a young woman boarded my bus. She asked me if I went to San Rafael. I said, "Yes." She turned to a young man behind her and said, "He goes to San Rafael". Then she asked me the fare. I told her. She turned to the young man behind her and told him, "$4.15". She then paid her fare and sat down. The young man came up the steps and asked me if I went to San Rafael. I told him "Yes". Then He asked me what the fare was. I started to tell him, but he interrupted me to ask if I went to San Rafael. As I was telling him, "yes", he started to ask me what the fare was. I told him, "$4.15". He asked, "Is that the fare to San Rafael?" I told him, "Yes". He said, "So you do go to San Rafael?" I said, "Yes". He asked me what the fare was. I told him. By this time there was quite a line of people behind him. He said, "So, this is the bus to San Rafael?" I snapped and told him "Listen, you've asked me that question half a dozen times. If you ask me again I'm going to tell you no. Now put your money in the fare box and sit down." He looked truly wounded. "I'm just trying to make sure." I told him, "You made sure the first time you asked me." He continued to look as though I had just thrown him up against the wall, insulted his momma and stolen his wallet. "You know, there's nothing at all wrong with making sure." I said, "There's nothing wrong with making sure. You're right about that. There's something wrong with wasting a whole bus load of people's time. Now pay your fare and sit down." He then put his fare in the box, slowly and with much pausing.
Congratulations on having your photos published. Many years ago I had some ambitions as a photographer, but found that photography was getting in the way of my drinking.
I'd forgotten about that. The way some numpty pulls the ticket so it doesn't cut .... and keeps on pulling and pulling .... and pulling. They'd happily relieve you of the entire roll before they stopped.
/\thinking, \/dancing
i normally say - that £6.00 worth of ticket roll you have taken, normally puts them off.
the best way is to pull it like a xmas cracker, short sharp tug,.
I had completely forgotten about idiots like that with my new life in Lanzarote.
But now I look back and think, thank god I´ve escaped the morons!!!
They pull the tickets, upwards, downwards, sidewards and any other way the ticket will rip or just leisurely pull out until its 3x the original size.
A driver then casually flips his wrist and the ticket is free!
Ahhh, excellent. It still goes on, Dave. Just recently after some elderly boarder had got halfway up the bus clutching a ticket that was still being frantically 'issued' by the machine, i loudly commented that, "If you're THAT short of bogroll i'd have happily lent you a quid."
Risky these days, but worth the mirth.
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