Wasn't working today so decided to do a bit of spring cleaning, it is spring after all. One of the things I decided on was to get rid of an old sofa that has been cluttering up the bedroom for years and years. So first thing this morning I looked up the phone number for Torbay's bulk refuse disposal team, 01803 207205, try it if your name is Job and would like to practice your patience skills. My name isn't Job but I thought I would try anyway.So I dialled hopefully and got an answering machine, "All our operators are really, really busy right now but your phone call is the most important thing that has happened to Torbay Council in the last 10 000 years so please go and make yourself a cup of coffee, get the morning paper or maybe your copy of War And Peace, make your self comfortable, hang onto the phone and we hope you don't mind a huge phone bill as it could be ages, if ever, before one of our highly trained assistants can get back to you." Then the music started. Please don't play music, play the speaking clock or Radio Devon or even part one of Teach Yourself Polish in 697 easy lessons while you wait.
Five minutes later I decided to try again later. May as well get the sofa down stairs and at the front door just in case. Well after pushing, shoving, twisting, lifting, crying and praying to an old Anglo-Saxon god I managed to get stuck half way down the stairs. Time for an other cup of coffee and try the phone number again. Coffee was nice, phone call wasn't. Same message, same music. I know in these days of spending cuts it is unlikely Torbay Council can afford more than one assistant, but only one music track is cutting things a bit too much. Back to the sofa and more grunting, groaning and repeated praying to the Anglo Saxon god I finally made the hall with sofa. Bit of a squeeze to get out the front door but once I get through to the town hall and make arrangements for collection it in a handy spot, it'll be the work of 10 seconds to get it on to the front door step. If I don't get through to a highly trained TOR2 operative than I could be squeezing past that sofa for the next 20 years because it isn't going back upstairs again. I've used up my years quota of Anglo Saxon just getting the damn(not Anglo Saxon) thing down.
I made several more attempts to get through to the town hall during the day with the same success as a duck trying to find a duck pond here in Torquay.