Masked Person and a Stagecoach

When I was but a young boy in Manchester I used to go to the Saturday morning pictures at the Odean on Withington Road. Now a block of flats but then a fine cinema. The Saturday show was a singalong, a cartoon, the cliff hanger and the main film. In those days westerns were the favorite and Stagecoach was my favorite film till I was about 15. Anyway one thing I learnt was that Masked Men (except the Lone Range) and Stagecoaches did not go well together. So when a young (mid teen) person got on the bus wearing a mask I pulled out my trusty shotgun and blew him away.

Alright, OK, I didn't, not quite. I just asked him nicely would he mind removing the mask ( an Ali G look alike) as he wasn't going to get on the bus with it on. After what followed I almost wish I had taken out said shotgun and blown him away. He started shouting at me and demanded to know if I had asked everyone who had ever got on the bus wearing a mask to take it of. I assured him that I had. He wanted to know how many people had got on the bus wearing a mask. I had to admit that in 9 years there had only been one person daft enough to get on the bus with a full face mask on: him. I then asked him, "Doesn't that tell you something?" He then asked why I wanted him to remove the mask and I explained that if there was a problem I would not know what he looked like.

Imagine the situation. Policeman, "What exactly did he look like?"
Me, "I'm not sure, he was wearing a mask."
Policeman, "Why did you let him an the bus wearing a mask?"
Me" Errrrr... Good Question. Officer"

Our masked friend's responce to my explanation was, "Well I don't want you to know what I look like." Well I ask you? I mean ask any bank robber why he is wearing a mask and you will get the same response. That is if you are very lucky and the bank robber is in an exceptionally good mood.

Then a lady passenger joined in, telling him to take the mask of and put it in his pocket. He turned to her, now she was made up for a night out but tastefully so. He told her she was wearing a mask with all that muck on her face. This was too much so I told him he could not get on the bus even of he removed the mask, and to give Ali G lookalike some little credit he realized he had gone far too far and walked away muttering loudly under his mask.

All in a days work.