Don't Try This At Home.

From the Herald Express

BUS FAN TAKES THREE FOR A RIDE
11:00 - 01 September 2007

A tipsy 56-year-old bus enthusiast from Teignmouth climbed into a Stagecoach bus and tried to drive it home, a court heard yesterday.Gary Millgate was even wearing a Stagecoach tie and shirt given to him by other bus drivers he had befriended.He had a few drinks before he clambered into the red and white bus - unaware that there were three passengers already on board.Millgate managed to start the vehicle which was parked in Exeter's main bus station and reversed it just 10 feet, drove it forward 10 feet and then struck a metal bollard causing £400 damage.The real bus driver came out of a canteen to find Millgate at the controls and he was arrested.He was given a breath test and found to be around two and a half times over the legal limit.

Exeter magistrates heard that Millgate used buses to travel between his home in Teignmouth to go to the Exeter bus social club.The court heard the bus doors were open, he got on board unaware of the passengers sitting in their seats, and pushed a button to start the engine.He told police: "I tried to be clever. I thought I could drive it but I couldn't. I moved it forward and backwards and hit the pillar."

Millgate, of Lendrick House, 4 South View, Teignmouth, admitted taking the bus without consent, drink driving and having no insurance.Mr Peter Seigne, defending, said: "This is rather a strange case. He is a single man who lives in a flat next door to his elderly mother."He is a lonely man who has not worked for a number of years."He has developed an interest in buses."He is an associate member of the bus station social club and knew all the bus drivers. He expressed an interest in buses to various drivers who gave him bits and bobs of old clothing they did not want."He turned up at the club dressed as a bus driver. He does not hold a driver's licence."But earlier this month he had drunk some alcohol in Exeter and went to the bus station.Mr Seigne said: "He did not realise there were passengers on board. He decided to get on and foolishly and regrettably he tried to drive it."He drove it about 10 feet in reverse and was back in first gear when he struck the bollard. He spent a frightening night in the police cells."

The magistrates ordered reports on Millage before they pass sentence and said custody was an option.And they banned him from the roads in the meantime.Mr Seigne said he was still travelling to the busman's social club but using other forms of transport.

OK. Now all bus enthusiast out there; don't try this at your local bus station unless:-
a) you have a bus driver's licence
b) you work for the bus company
c) you are on duty at the time
d) you haven't had 6 pints of beer.

Please note b) and c) don't count if you have your own bus.