Some Thing Make This Job Swing.

Yesterday I picked up about 65 pupils from a local school. When I stopped at a bus stop in New Road Brixham an elderly passenger complained loudly about the behaviour of the children. An other passenger who got of at the next stop said the children had only been noisy, which is what you would expect after several hours in school. When I got to Brixham I checked the bus for an signs of improper behaviour. I could not find any half chewed remains of sandwiches that some loving mum, or dad, had made for their little darling's lunch that the little darling had decided not to eat but save to throw around the bus at all his pals on the way home. Nor could I find any partly eaten chocolate bars slowly mealting into the seats by way of reliving the boredom on a dreary ten minute bus journey. No drinks containers lay on the floor of my beautiful bus gently gurgling their contents out for unwary travellers to slip on. None of the seats had been thrown out the emergency exit at passing motorists for the fun of watching them swerve and cause a multiple pile up on the road to Brixham. Nothing to suggest mayhem had taken place on the bus at all. Just a bit of noise.
Well I am on the same duty today and after I have loaded the children I will explain to them that I had a complaint yesterday about the noise and today the bus trip would be conducted in ABSOLUTE SILENCE. At the first sign of noise I would stop the bus and wait until silence once again was established. How far would I get do you think and how many times would I have to stop before getting the two miles down into Brixham? It would be about 1 O’clock in the morning when they had all fallen asleep. So if you are heading into Brixham this afternoon and the bus in front of you keeps stopping and then pulling away again only to stop ten metres down the road, don't worry, it wont be me. I'm not that mad.

Did I mention the grapes by the way?

No.

That was an other bus trip involving students from South Devon College, older than the school children and sadly, in one or two cases less sensible. One of the students had a bunch of grapes which instead of eating in the time houred fashion had decided to use to practice his bowling skills. He had sat in the middle seat at the back of the bus upstairs and pulled each grape of the bunch and rolled then down the bus. I only found out when the bus had got to Newton and a passenger told me. Now treading on grapes is the first stage to making wine. Drink too much wine and you fall down. Now lets cutt out the middleman and tread on a grape on the floor of a moving bus and you also fall down. Grapes are second only to banana skins in terms of slipperiness. So I told control that I had a problem with grapes and I was telling passengers about the problem and asking them not to go upstairs. No response for a while. I had an other go a bit further down the road as the downstairs section of the bus was getting a bit full. This time control said they would arrange for a controller to board the bus with brush and shovel and remove the grapes. Controller did board but no brush and had to pick each grape up one by one. Several handfulls. All good fun on a sunny afternoon.