Why Didn't I Stop and Pick You Up.

If you were one of the gentlemen in Brixham this evening at 17:56 I am sorry I could not pick you up at the lights as I was heading for Paignton. Company rules you know.

When I was a driver with less experience than now I did pick passengers up in this situation but I soon stopped. One time I was passenger on a bus, one of ours, when the driver opened the doors at the traffic lights for a lady. She, conscious of the fact that he should not be doing this tried to hurry, missed the step and bashed her shin on the platform. Blood everywhere. Lesson reinforced. It was learnt when I too open the doors at those very same traffic lights and two people got on. Did they have the right money ready, does the pope believe in free love for all? I don't think so. Not only that, they didn't even know where they were going. The conversation went something like this.
Person A to person B. "Where are we going?"
B, "I don't know."
A, "Well where do you want to go?
B, "Don't really care"
A, " Well hurry up and decide, the driver's waiting." I wasn't the only one waiting, about a third of Brixham was waiting, most in cars behind but also two or three had joined an impromptu queue for the bus.
B, "What about that place we went to last Friday?"
A, "After what you said to the barmaid. I ain't going within a mile of that place ever again. Have you seen her boyfriend."
B, "Don't remember that."
A "I'm not surprised the amount you drank."
B opened his mouth to deny being drunk but thought better of it.
A, "I know, we'll go to that new pub, just opened,what's it called."
B, "No idea."
A, "Yes you do. It's near that car dealer that got done for winding back the speedos in 1998. Closed down a few years ago."
B, "Yeah, my dad bought a car there, said it was crap. Kept breaking down." I also was about to break down because by now an ambulance, a police car, two fire engines and the dog wardens van had joined the queue of traffic trying to get out of Brixham and a thin green goo (aka the Will to Live) was trickling out of my ears. Oh, also there was the bus behind which they would have caught if I hadn't made the mistake of expecting them to get on the bus and say two returns to Torquay and bang the correct change down on the cash tray and let me be on my way.

When they did decide to go to Paignton they then asked what time the last bus was before deciding to get singles, probably because I told them the last bus from Paignton had already left.

Well you two gentlemen may well have had the correct money ready and known exactly where you were going as may all such hopeful would be passengers at the lights in the future but I don't ever intend to find out. Sorry.