Seagull

Lots of seagulls in Torquay. The local division two football team, Torquay United are known as "The Gulls". They are also known by one or two other names which I can't mention here due to the fact that they had a good start to the season but have lost the knack of winning over the last few weeks. But I am not here to talk about football but seagulls. Is you don't live in a seaside town you probably think gulls are magnificent birds. I mean, look at the picture.

If you do live in a seaside town or one that has open cast rubbish tips then you know that gulls are loud, aggressive birds that start screaming an hour before the sun comes up and rip in to plastic rubbish bags in the hope of finding food and are litter louts of the first order. Down here there are notices asking people not to feed the gulls but they get so much food they are able to breed twice a year. We are over run with gulls. Last time I hit a gull it flew into the nearside front windscreen and splattered. The only person on the bus was a sweet little old lady and being new to the bay I was very surprised when she said,"Oh good, an other of the buggers dead." That was 8 years ago and I can now understand why people don't like them, but I do. I mean, look at the picture.

Still, since early Sunday morning we have one less in the Bay. Wasn't my fault, he/she just walked out in front of the bus. I swerved madly hitting two cyclists, three parked cars before ending up in someone's front garden. O.K. O.K. I didn't. Never swerve to avoid seagulls or you could hit two cyclist, three parked cars and four partridges in a pear tree in someone's front garden.

I wasn't even sure I had hit the poor little thing until a couple of hours later when I came back from Brixham. But there it was, lying in the road, dead.

Sorry seagull.

Allocations Officer

I went into work the other day and as soon as my foot had entered the Sign On Room I heard the sweet, syrupy voice the Allocations Officer call my name. He does have an other voice which he uses much of the time to snarl at people. But when he uses this, 'come here and let me do you a favour', voice you know what ever plans you had for your next rest day can just go right out the window. Either that or you are going to spend the next week working late in Newton Abbot. Let me point out at once, just in case you are from Newton Abbot that I have nothing against Newton. I must have been the about 8000 times in the last 8 years. It's just working there that I am against. 30 mins to Buckland, 30 mins to Sandygate, 30 mins to High Week. Then you do it all over again, and again, and again, and again.................... you get the drift. So on Monday, despite the fact that it is at lest 5 years since I last got up before 6 am, I am starting work at 05:25. The worst part about it is while you are doing him a favour you come away from the encounter with the impression he has just done you the biggest favour since Marie Antoinette tried to help the peasants by offering them the advice to eat cake.

Motor Cycle Going Past

Just gone to bed the other night when a motor bike went past the house. The road has parked cars on one side and is fairly narrow. Two cars can pass providing one is stationary. To the north of the house is a side road, the entrance of which is hidden by the parked cars. To the south of the house is a slight bend and it was from this direction the bike approached. Now judging by the time it took the bike to:-
approach, 1 nano second,
pass the house, a smidgen of a nano second,
disappear up the road, 9 tenths of a nano second
and comparing these times with the time it takes vehicles driven normally and even with vehicles driven at excessively dangerous speeds like 60 mph along the road I would conservatively estimate this bike's speed to have been in excess of 120 mph.

Now if he is still alive I would like to shake the riders hand. Not to congratulate him, just in the hope that some of his luck will rub off on to me.

Yesterday and Today; Big Difference.

Yesterday (Wednesday) I had a really nice day. No, I didn't spend it in the pub, I spent it driving a bus. The roads were quiet, the were quite a few people about including a good few holiday people but they were either walking or using the bus. Those that were using the bus got on and had their money or tickets ready, they all knew where they were going, and all, well most anyway were cheerful. It was a beautiful, warm sunny day and everyone was in a good mood. No one shouted that they had been waiting for 1/2 an hour because they hadn't. The light traffic meant that we were all running on time and had in fact lots of time to enjoy the drive. Even when I went for my meal break the canteen was full of drivers who were in a good mood and we all had a lighthearted chat about not much in particular instead of the usual moan about the things bus drivers the world over moan about; running times, traffic, mad car drivers, controllers, managers, buses, the radio system, boss and the old favorite, passengers.

In fact it was such a nice day it is a shame that someone from the training deptment hadn't been there on the bus with a camcorder. They could have shown the video to new recruits and told them this is what bus driving is like, "Isn't it a wonderful job?"

Then today, (Thursday). Road works in Preston out side the Living Waters church. They dug the road up, right down to the foundations. Only for about 50 yards. With temporary traffic lights controlling the traffic. I went through on my way to Brixham at about 9:45 when they had only just started. I began to notice there was some thing wrong when I left Brixham. Normally as I go up New Road I should see the next 12 going down New Road into Brixham. Today I didn't see him until I got to the Big Tree which is 15 mins from Brixham. Which meant I had left Brixham 15 mins before and the next 12 wouldn't get there for an other 15 mins. 30 mins between buses instead of 15. It is one of the problems of small town traffic, especially sea side towns. There is only one road through the town and when there is a problem on that road there is just no where else to go.

Anyway, I left Paignton Bus Station on time and finally got through the road works 40 mins late. Even if all the traffic has to go along one road this is definately not on. It is always the same when there are road works in the Bay. No one seems to give a damn about traffic management. They just put some traffic lights up and bugger it. If they manage the traffic that's fine (and a miracle), if they don't who cares. Usually we get a two mile queue on one side and 50 yards on the other. What we had today was the set of pedestrian lights 20 yards from the road works. So you sit waiting for the red light to change to let you through the road works and some one walks up, presses the button and then two things happen. Pedestrian lights change to red and road work lights change to green. You can't go anywhere. Coming the other way, you are driving through the road works and the pedestrian lights go red, so you stop. Mean while the road works lights change but you and twenty cars are blocking the road. Note to Torbay Highways deptment, "Tomorrow, please switch the pedestrian lights off." Oh the good news is the road works are only expected to last two days. The bad news is I have exactly the same duty tomorrow.

Oh yes, almost forgot, at about 5 O Clock in the evening the lights turned to red; at both ends of the road works and for 15 mins nothing moved. At least it was a nice sunny evening and not pouring with rain.

Later in the day a bus broke down in Abbey Road in the centre of Torquay and that caused a little problem all of it's own. But that's an other story. I did end up 29 mins late finishing so I am slightly richer for the day. Had anyone from the training deptment been on the bus today with his camcorder I expect they would have shown the video to the same new recruits just to give a fair and balanced picture of this wonderful job.

A Bit Early For Christmas.

Not totally clear but the blue sphere is an almost life sized version of one of those glass globes you shake and snow falls for a minute or so. This one is operated by gas or electricity or newclean power or magic for all I care. It is there to inform passers-by that they should book early for their Christmas 'do'. Why firms want to have a Christmas 'do' is beyond me. It is a well know fact that any Christmas 'do' involving more than 20 people from the same company ends up with at least 2 black eyes, one divorce, and two sacking and god knows how many pregnacies and enough embarassing moments to fill 9 minutes on Eastenders.

Now I took this photo two weeks ago on Sept 30th which is 86 days to Christmas. Summer season has only just come to a close and Christmas is being shoved in our faces. I know some one will have already have seen some thing sooner that that is asking us to celebrate the birth on Earth of that well know son of god but I will vote for any political party no matter how far to the left and quiet far to the right that promises me it will ban any mention of Christmas before Advent (1) has started. Oh yes; the next day I went past B & Q Hardware store and they had 20 plastic xmas trees in the window. I'm not even going to take a photo, you get nothing for being second. Not even your photo on this blog.

Footnote (1) Advent, for those of you who are not, or have never been a member of the Christian Party starts the first Sunday in December.

Forgot to mention, just in case you feel like having a Christmas 'do' or indeed you feel like boycotting some where that mentions Christmas in September the pub is the Half Moon in Paignton.