"It's dead easy really, all you have to do is walk around Torquay."
"That's it, just walk around Torquay?"
"Yes."
"Nothing else?"
"Well you have to hand out balloons."
"Oh, that doesn't seem too bad."
"There is the other bit."
"What other bit?"
"Well the balloons are advertising the Mariner pub."
"So?"
"Well mariners are famous for something"
"Like sailing the Seven Seas? I should point out I get seasick walking through a deep puddle."
"No, nothing to do with sailing." Slight pause. "Nor being sick."
"Drinking large amounts of Rum?"
"Don't be silly. I said it was nothing to do with being sick."
"Not rum, Oh God, not rum so it must be sodomy and the lash."
(From Rum, Sodomy and the Lash, a CD by the Pogues)
"Don't be silly. We'd never get away with that in Torquay." Slight pause. "Not in broad daylight anyway." Slightly longer pause. "Don't fancy a bit of overtime later this evening? No. OK. Sorry I asked."
"Woman in every port, that sort of thing?"
"No."
"Give me a clue or we'll be here all day."
"What do mariners have on their shoulders?"
"Epaulets, if they're the captain mariner."
Long sigh, "Parrots."
An emphatic shake of head. "I'm not walking round with a parrot on my shoulder. They bite your ear and crap all over you."
"You don't have too walk round with a parrot on your shoulder."
"What then?" Some people can be slow on the up take some times.
Christmas comes but once a year, but after that there is the Easter Bunny to look forward to.
4 comments:
You'll look good giving out balloons with that parrot on your shoulder! - Dave
Going by the title of the post, I assume that's not you in the suit Dave.
I wonder if those balloons are the biodegradable type that don't choke pelicans and tortoises. Some of the councils here in Oz have banned helium balloons for that reason.
When I was in Oz last time it was during the election and I walked in to John Howard's campain office with a video camera going and filmed them blowing up balloons. I then asked that very same question. The staff thretened to call the police if I didn't stop filming even though I said I was from the bbc. (busdriving.blogspot.com)They never answered the question.
Where the heck is the Mariner? Obviously needs advertising.
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