Marks and Spencer's Bus

This is, as you can see the M&S Bus. All done up in it's own distinctive livery. Looks smart. Most of the time it drives around South Devon picking up passengers and carrying them, for free, to and from the Willows, the shopping complex just outside Torquay. I use the word complex very loosely as there are only about 6 or 7 shops there, one of them is Marks and Spencer's. In the evening when it is not being used for this purpose it acts as a spare bus but it is only used if there are no other buses available. This situation occurred on Saturday and I was the poor sod that had to take it out as a number 12. I say poor sod as the most important piece of equipment on this bus, and any bus for that matter, is, sad to say dysfunctional. No, not the brakes, not the steering or the gears. Not even the engine. But the seat! The adjustment is almost none existent. It would move backward and forward, but only as far as the average tectonic plate moves in a week, and as for moving up and down, don't even try. It was too low for me, it felt like I was sitting in a hole, it was so far back I had to lean forward to turn the wheel. Enough to put you off wanting to drive the damn thing? I expect so, but there is one last problem. The padding in the seat had been removed, probably by the Spanish Inquisition. Ten minutes in that seat and you would confess to anything, after half an hour you start to look forward to being burnt at the stake. Finally, after whining like mad and annoying all the other drivers and control for a couple of hours an other bus came available and the M&S bus was parked in the garage for the night where it belongs.

I know I wasn't going to mention the Young Farmers again but the news from Kent prompts me to ask, Young Farmers or Earthquake? Looking at the damage and reading the stories of people caught up in the earthquake I have to say; "Come back any time you like." to the Young Farmers. Next week if you wish, no problem.

Biker Notice

The Newton road between Torquay and Newton Abbot is a two lane, single carriageway, 40 mph road. It is one of the busiest roads in the South West. Just about everyone agrees that we need a bypass round Kingskerswell, shown in the picture. Even David Cameron, that well known cyclist and also believed by some to be boss of the Tory party thinks we should have a bypass. The Department for Transport agree we should have a bypass but every time we ask for the money, they ask us to do a traffic count as the last one we did is now two years out of date. So the traffic count is done at great cost to the local councils and the send the figures sent off to the Department for Transport who also agree we need a bypass but unfortunate there isn't any money available, please ring back in a year or two. When we do they say yes but your last traffic count is now out of date, could you do an other one. The process then gets repeated every two years. The money we have spent so far on traffic counts would have paid for half the bypass.

Anyway the only way to go fast on this road is to believe that 5 mph is fast or buy a motor bike. Some of those who have chosen the latter now believe that doing 80 mph on blind bends 3 feet over the double white lines while overtaking a line of vehicles is the fast track to immortality. If having a bunch of flowers tied to a lamp post at the site of your accident is immortality than go for it. In order to be seen to be doing something about this problem the local council (Devon C.C. I think) have erected this and similar notices along the road. What the notices should say is, "Bikers, Please be aware that there are car drivers ahead who have been stuck on this road for hours and might suddenly decide to open their car doors and get out and have a picnic to pass the time. So watch out." or, "Bikers, There is an other idiot just like you coming the other way 3 feet over the double white line overtaking a line of slow moving vehicles, travelling at 60 mph and he just may be driving a bus. So watch out."

More about the Young Farmers.

Well today went as expected. The pubs in Fleet Walk and around the Harbour were doing great business from about 11 am on. As the afternoon wore on the groups got a little louder and a bit more dafter. The usual trick is to walk with back to a bus for 20 yards or so then suddenly turn, see the bus, act surprised and jump for their lives. It's not even remotely amusing the first time it happens and after go 20 it is getting close to the point of slamming the accelerator to the floor and claiming justifiable homicide. The other trick is to suddenly walk out in front of a bus knowing we are not going to run them over. But braking hard even at 5 mph can throw an elderly passenger off their seat. By 5 O Clock they all seemed to have had enough and had gone, possibly back to their hotels to eat. It was about this time the police turned up to ensure public order was being maintained.

Now the question is this. They arrived yesterday and started drinking instantaneously till sun rise this morning, then they started drinking again at 11 am and are out there now (12 mid night) still drinking. They are here for a conference. When exactly is the conference going to be held as the are going home tomorrow. OK. I know there are only 3 items on the agenda; 1) How to screw as much money as possible out of the EU farm budget. 2) Do you need a condom when having sex with ewe know who? and 3) the perennial favourite, Is it safe to share a sheep. That's share by the way, not shear.

Anyway I have a day off tomorrow (Sunday) so unless there is something big to report, no more about the Young Farmers till next year; hopefully to report that they aren't coming back. Ever.

To take your mind off the YFs, here is a nice photo taken some where in Torbay.

Young Farmers Arrive.

They started to arrive in town about lunch time and by 5:00 pm there were reports of YFs chasing after buses in Fleet Walk and trying to lift the engine covers at the rear of the buses. Maybe they are missing their sheep already.

Miracle Cure?

I was waiting at the lights in Brixham when a passengers came up to me and announced that he had just found a walking stick on the back seat of the bus. Two seconds later the controller in Paignton asked all 12/12A drivers to check their bus for a walking stick. The passenger was waiting in Paignton to be reunited with the stick. I was a 12A and as such would take me 45 mins to get back to Paignton. There was a 12 in front of me on the stop in Brixham and he would only take 20 to get to Paignton so I past the walking stick on like a relay runner passing on the baton.

Question is, how did the gent, who needed the stick to get on the bus manage to get of the bus without it.

Are our buses the scene of a Miracle? Will crowds flock down to the West Country in the hope of a cure?
Will we cope?